Translate

Sunday, October 15, 2017

USING A CHILD FOR 30 MINUTES OF FAME, HOW DO YOU SPELL SHAME?

And if a boy wants to wear a dress and veil?

Girl denied First Communion because she wanted to wear a suit

Courtesy of Chris Mansell
Cady plays around with a fun hairstyle while trying on the suit she wanted to wear for her First Communion.
Cady Mansell has always had a strong sense of fashion. At 9 years old, she likes trying on makeup and painting her nails. She likes shopping trips to Chicago with her fashion-conscious mother. And since she asked for her first bow tie during one of those trips to the mall when she was just 4, Cady has had a thing for snazzy suits.
When it came time for her First Communion, a major event for Cady, she naturally started thinking early about what she wanted to wear on the big day. She settled on a brand-new all-white suit.
“It kind of sparkles in the sunlight,” she enthused when she tried it on.
But then word got out at her Catholic school about Cady’s planned attire. School officials told Cady’s parents that she couldn’t participate in First Communion with the rest of her class unless she wore a skirt or dress. And when the Mansells dug in their heels, insisting that their daughter should wear the outfit she had picked out for her special day, the argument escalated quickly – to the point that the Mansells pulled their daughters out of the school and the church altogether.
“It made me sad and mad,” Cady said. “We should all be equal and wear what we would like.”
At the school, St. John the Evangelist in St. John, Indiana, an official, who asked the Washington Post not to publish her name because she didn’t make the decision to ban Cady’s suit, said that the school simply couldn’t bend its dress code to suit Cady’s style.
“We have a dress code in place for our school. We consistently enforce that,” she said. “Oftentimes you’ll get somebody who wants to wear sneakers instead of dress shoes, or a purple shirt instead of a white shirt.”
The dress code prescribes dark slacks and a white shirt for the boys at the school, and a white dress or skirt for the girls.
The Rev. Sammie Maletta, the priest at St. John the Evangelist, told the Mansells that a deacon at the church could administer Cady’s First Communion privately, but that she couldn’t attend the ceremony with the rest of her classmates unless she wore a dress or skirt. Cady was upset by that; she wanted to sit with her friends.
“We couldn’t go to the real Communion Mass,” Cady’s mother, Chris Mansell, said. “We would have to wait until all the kids left the building, then come in like a secret. No picture, no anything, like we were ashamed of her. I said, ‘That’s not an option.’ ”
After Chris, who worked at the school as a teacher’s aide, discussed the dress code with the principal, her husband took Cady to the rehearsal for the ceremony. There, Chris said, Maletta pulled Cady’s father aside.
In Chris’ telling, Maletta said: “You’re raising your daughter wrong. You’re setting bad examples for her. She doesn’t have the brain development and maturity to decide if she wants to wear a suit. It’s your job as a parent to say, ‘You’re not wearing a suit. You’re wearing a dress.’ If you won’t do this, you’re raising your daughter wrong.”
Mansell responded by saying that if that was how Maletta saw it, the family would leave the parish, which was central to their lives. It meant pulling their daughters out of the school and Chris quitting her job at the school. They went through with it.
“He already said I was raising my daughter wrong and we’re bad parents. At that point, I don’t want to be in an organization like that,” Chris said.
Chris said that all this has nothing to do with Cady’s gender identity or sexuality – her 9-year-old girl definitely identifies as a girl. Cady does have short hair right now, for excellent reason. She has twice grown her hair long and then cut it to donate to Locks of Love, which makes wigs for patients who lose their hair to disease. And her father has shaved his head several years in a row as a fund-raiser for the St. Baldrick’s Foundation, which raises money for childhood cancer research.
This year, Cady declared, “Can I shave my head for St. Baldrick’s? I want to see if I can make more money than Daddy ever did.” And she did it – she said that she raised $6,000, the most of anyone at the event, and after she shaved her head, they gave her a medal almost as big as her face.
Her hair is still growing back right now.
Cady said she’s enjoying her new Catholic school. But the kids there did their First Communion at the end of third grade, instead of the beginning of fourth grade like Cady was supposed to do at St. John the Evangelist, so Chris is looking for a church where Cady can finally make her First Communion.
That matters a lot to Chris, who said she tried attending a nondenominational church for about a year but returned to Catholicism specifically because of her deep connection to Communion. “I just felt really called to go back because of the sacrament. I prayed on it a lot. I always wanted my girls to make the sacrament in the Catholic Church,” she said. “The Eucharist is just something so special. I think when you’re a cradle Catholic, it’s different. It’s in your blood. It’s in your roots. I just wanted my daughters to be able to experience that.”
Until that day comes, Cady is getting ready – she practiced Communion at home with orange soda instead of wine.

16 comments:

Joseph Johnson said...

Years back, in anticipation of her First Communion, my (now nineteen years old) daughter picked out a white dress, veil, shoes, and special gloves ('had a cross on them). I had taught my daughter about the option to receive on the tongue as well as on the hand. She had planned to receive on the tongue but the DRE, an un-habited sister, at the last minute, told her she couldn't wear the gloves. When I asked why, she replied that "they" wanted her to receive on the hand. I told her my daughter wanted to receive on the tongue. Sister didn't respect the Church's liturgical law, much less my daughter's wishes, and insisted that she receive her First Holy Communion on the hand. My daughter has consistently received on the tongue ever since . . .

Anonymous said...

i. This story is from Indiana, yet the article is written and published by the Washington Post. It is a ten-hour drive from Indiana to Washington, someone had to make an effort to have this story written, investigated, and published on a national or international newspaper. What’s the motive?
ii. They make an effort to describe Cady as fashion conscious, that is part of her nature. Yet when Cady is told she cannot wear a suit, she says “We should all be equal and wear what we would like.” She does not combat the dress code, to her it is an equal rights issue. Does that seem inconsistent, coerced, or contrived?
iii. Some unnamed individual at the school states privately that this is a dress code issue, but why are they fearful for making their name public?
iv. The priest says that communion could be given to Cady privately, and by a deacon. Why? Is there a requirement that everyone make their “first communion” as part of a school ceremony? It seems that the priest is following the advice (Fr Z) for someone divorced and remarried to receive Communion.
v. The priest then challenges the parenting by stating “You’re raising your daughter wrong.” Have any priests commented on this? What would you do? Note the mother says the priest said they were bad parents. The priest didn’t say that (did he?) Is there some baiting going on here?
vi. Gender identity enters the story, as does the explanation of her apperance. Some here might see the story about “Gender Identity”, others might begin to notice the exploitation of a minor.
vii. Cady’s mother, who once worked at the Church’s school, mentions trying a non-denominational church. As an employee, how does this affect her employment?

TJM said...

Joseph Johnson, likely a special place in hell for that faux, fascist nun. The priest, if he had any cojones, should have over-ruled that left-wing loon.

Anonymous said...

All logic dictates that Cady is female NOT male, she will not mock Our Lord and neither will her parents, enough of this utter and ghastly nonsense.

rcg said...

The parents could dress in a horse costume and tell everyone they are actually an ass. An absurd place to make any unrelated ‘statement’ and shows how little confirmation means to them.

Anonymous said...

Bee here:

"And when the Mansells dug in their heels, insisting that their daughter should wear the outfit she had picked out for her special day, the argument escalated quickly –..."

Someone should have mentioned to this little girl and her parents that the reception of Holy Communion is not about her, but about Jesus Christ. Somehow in our society, even in the Church, the focus has stopped being on God, or on those things outside ourselves which we wish to become a part of, but rather the focus is squarely on ourselves.

From these events and what she said, I think it's evident Cady is not ready to receive Jesus Christ in the Eucharist, and should be delayed in receiving her First Communion until she can understand what it is she is doing when she approaches the altar for Holy Communion.

God bless.
Bee

qwikness said...

Girls are now doing these Flower Head Wreaths. I hate them. 98% of the girls had these, this past first communion. They looked like a hippy, dippy, new age, daughter of Juno cult initiation. When did this become a thing? Can't we stop it and get a pretty, sweet veil?

Anonymous said...

"Someone should have mentioned to this little girl and her parents that the reception of Holy Communion is not about her, but about Jesus Christ."

So, this Baptized Christian who has a RIGHT to the Sacraments can be denied the opportunity to receive First Communion with her class because someone other than Jesus Christ doesn't like what she is planning to wear.

Got it.

TJM said...

Anonymous, you must be a Dem, since you are of the mentality that one is "entitled" to everything. No, receiving Holy Communion is not a right, it is a privilege, which may be witheld.

Bee, wonderful words of wisdom.

rcg, Comedy Gold. I think "anonymous" fits the custume you reference perfectly.

Carol H. said...

This situation illustrates one of the biggest problems in the world today. Everyone thinks that the rules apply to everyone else except themselves. Obedience is treated like a bad word. Individualism run amok is leading to chaos in our society.

I agree with Bee. This poor young girl is clearly not ready to receive or Lord in Holy Communion. Christ's obedience to the Father led Him to death on a cross; surely wearing a dress and wedding veil would not be so painful to her pride as that!

BTW Anon, none of us has a right to the Sacraments if we are in a state of mortal sin. Pride is a mortal sin and is sometimes referred to as the root of all evil. It is unfortunate that this family has chosen to put their daughter's pride on display rather than give her the correction her soul needs. The virtue of HUMILITY on their part would have made this a non-issue. They are in my prayers.

christykimsey said...

Deo Gratias for the Holy priest who denied this prideful and poor misguided child Holy Communion.

Anonymous said...

Bee here:

Anonymous at October 16, 2017 at 9:11 AM said,

"So, this Baptized Christian who has a RIGHT to the Sacraments can be denied the opportunity to receive First Communion with her class because someone other than Jesus Christ doesn't like what she is planning to wear."

In a word, yes.

What if she wanted to wear a football uniform, complete with shoulder pads and spikes? Tell me, what if she had wanted to wear a black witch's costume and carry a broomstick? Should she be allowed?

I'm so sorry you can't see why this child should be taught to conform to rules and regulations established by adults, the pastor no less, responsible for her education and formation. No one does a service to a child by not guiding her in proper dress for a given occasion. It's a shame that the rebellious among us use these occasions to assert their defiance, and then blame authority for enforcing well established rules.

Belonging to the Catholic Church is voluntary. However, there are rules established by those in authority. If one chooses to belong, then, like in any organization, implicit in that choice is the agreement to follow the rules established by those in rightful authority. If one does not want to follow those rules, then one needs to choose not to be a member.

God bless.
Bee

TJM said...

Bee,

Well said.

George said...


Bee and Carol:very good comments.

This story serves as a pertinent reminder of humility and obedience being prime virtues in the order of spiritual development, and manifest evidence of the degree of ones faith.
What is necessary here is to acquiesce to the the authority figure, in this case the pastor, in agreeing to abide by the dress code of the school, a code which applies equally to all students.
First Communion is one of those events which is not a time and place to "stand out",or a forum to express ones individuality. A certain decorum is mandated which is set by guidelines drawn up by those in responsible positions, not arbitrarily, but after due consideration and deliberation.

I feel sorry for this child over the poor example her parents are setting for her.

Anonymous said...

So, rules must be followed.

Say the pastor established a rule that first communicants must wear, "a football uniform, complete with shoulder pads and spikes..."

Would that family be expected to follow this rule established by an adult, a pastor no less?

Of course not.

TJM said...

Anonymous,

What a ridiculous straw man argument! You must be a Soros paid troll